“If it’s not on Strava…!” implyies that, unless a cycle, run, swim or walk is recorded on your Strava app’ it never happened. My phone ran out of juice almost mid-coast to coast cycle from ‘Bonar Bridge’ to ‘Scourie’ (and back). Thus, ensued some light-hearted ‘Strava’ banter:


Rasco: “Great effort Neil. However, as I heard in your 60 second sermon, “If it’s not on Strava it didn’t happen”. I looked at the photos and saw you’d done the return trip as well, over 100 miles. Superb. However, it’s not on Strava. Are we really expected to take the word of a Church of Scotland minister?”

Iain S: “I believe you Neil we have a doubting Thomas here” 😉👍

Caro’ McC: “Amazing Neil, x u could have popped into my aunty is Lochinver.”

Me: Haha! Thanks for comments folks! As usual Rasco, you only listen to half my sermons, that’d be 30 seconds? Thanks for your trust Iain! Next time I might manage as far as Lochinver Caro’! 😉 keep on cycling friends!”

Rasco: “30 second sermons? Another great idea Neil.”

Me: “LOL Incorrigible UR Rasco!” 😂

Rasco: “I’ll look that word up before I decide how to respond!”

My Strava ‘gives up the ghost’ and misses my whereabouts: sometimes to my advantage, with ‘below par’ outings, other times robbing me of personal bests. “C’est la vie! It is what it is! Etc.” So flow the platitudes. He who penned Psalm 139 (1,000’s of years before Strava or mobile) found in God ‘The One Who Misses Nothing!’ Rob Lacey’s St Bible paraphrase:


God, you’ve picked me over and you know me, intricately;

You’ve sussed me out: you know me, intimately;

You forecast my every move: my body, brain, my big big mouth!

You know all my tendencies, my habits, my times:

Before I’ve even said it, you’ve worked out if it rhymes;

Your armed guard stands around me, above me, below me;

You’ve put your arm around me, you know me;

My head doesn’t have the capacity –

It’s Overload City, this ‘YOU and me’!

But woah! Hey,what if I fall, go AWOL, try to lose it all?

What d’I do to hide from you? How d’I outrun the one who’s faster than sunshine?

Shuttle me to Saturn? You’re waiting for me there!

Use the cover of dawn as camouflage? You’re there

Get reborn, other side of the world, even off the map?

You’re arms around me: you’ve found me, surround me.

Hit the lights! The darkness bites and I hide from you:

No difference – God’s vision don’t dim;

You’re arms around me: you’ve found me, surround me.

For you made me, I ain’t no whim;

You double-stitched my DNA, hand-picked my brain the very next day.

Made some room in my mother’s womb, and hey! I’m away

On the production line, I’m not kept back from you;
In the secret places I develop as you view.
My design’s on the drawing board, you come and take a look,
And the work that I’m to do’s already written in your book!

Cross – question me, God:
Suss out my subconscious;
Check me over thoroughly;
See if there’s any fear in me.
Root out any tumour that’ll hurt or harm;
Lead me by the arm, take me there, your way.

Chorus: God, I’m amazing! The credit’s down to you;

I’m incredible: nothing to edit or review!

Everything you do fills up our wonder-tanks,

And I know I’m wonderful. So thanks!


Friend, No Need for Strava to prove to God ‘You Are Wonderful’!